My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
There's always time for handjobs
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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