so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
