It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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