Pants 0. Shit 1.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
