I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
