my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
