Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
