I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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