I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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