I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You may now shotgun with the bride
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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