I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
