great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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