Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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