This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
