She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I wear drunk well.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
