you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
