You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
