I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
