You're completely useless in the revolution.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
