Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
