I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
