bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
