I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
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Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
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Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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