I'm really into asian looking animals
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
