went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
they need to just BURY HIM!
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
