He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
