I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
