We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
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you didnt know i had herpes?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
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It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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