Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
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