I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
