your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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