Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I am in a vortex of obligation.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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