she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
