WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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