your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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