people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
