My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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