Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Randomize
