I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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