yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
