found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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