They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize