Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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