ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Randomize
