Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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