my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
