I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
