I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
