my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
