It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
