your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
