You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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