love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
