What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
