Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
