erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
