I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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