Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
