we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are going to name an STD after you.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize