I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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