I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
