Please, let me fuck your mom
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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