how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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